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Much like having a good old natter over a cup of coffee or glass of wine, feeling comfortable enough to let go a little bit of tension, because that of course is what happens - the old saying - a problem shared is a problem halved. That might or might not be true, but sometimes it helps just to have a good whinge.
My whinge today is about pain - when I was younger I used to puzzle over why people put up with it - if something is wrong, just get it fixed, see a doctor, do whatever. Also, when I was younger, I played a lot of sport. As a teenager, it was athletics, which I was good at, I also played netball, and later basketball. In fact, I continued to play both of these sports - at social level - until I was into my forties. Then I switched to golf, which I really loved, though I was never any good at it. Actually, I was just pleased to be able to play at all. I'd had some radiotherapy by then which affected a lot of muscle around my shoulder, so I couldn't hit the ball very far, but I could hit straight, and just being out on the course, pitting wits against ball, and water and trees, that was where I most wanted to be.
When the opportunity came to back-step and work only part time, I thought hoorah, I can spend more time on the golf course, which I did for about the first month. Then, one day, I found I could hardly hit the ball at all, air shots, no direction, that sort of thing, and nothing I tried worked ... well, by the time I got home my neck was really hurting, so of course I thought I had twisted it or something, enough to affect my ability to swing the club.
Over the next few months I tried everything, massage, chiropractic and osteotheraphy, I even tried Bowen Therapy - but no improvement. Eventually, I went to the doctor (that's another story, my doctor despairs of me, says I never come to see him unless something is actually falling off!) and he was concerned about something I hadn't even noticed - the muscles in my back and neck were disappearing - some had actually gone altogether, leaving just holes (sounds horrible, doesn't it - but, hey, who looks at my back these days?).
Anyway, he sent me off to see a neuro surgeon, and after some really nasty testing, needles in nerve points to record activity, and a 45 minute session trying not breathe in an MRI machine - the verdict was that I have arthritic 'bone intrusions' in 2 of my neck joints. The nerves are being pinched, cutting off whatever it is they are supposed to supply, hence the atrophying of the muscles and the pain in my neck. The whole exercise cost a small fortune, which of course now I cannot afford because I am only working part-time and trying to live on a budget.
But the real problem is learning to live with the pain. If I am working a single day, or sometimes two in a row, it's not so bad, local heat and a bit of massage usually sees me right in a couple of hours. But when, like this week, I am rostered for three days in a row - it takes the whole of the next day and a mountain of pain-killers before I become human again. And I get so cranky....
There was talk of surgery - but, you know, I am not at all happy with the idea that they go playing around with nerves and bones in my neck, so at this stage I really don't consider that's an option. And, of course, no more golf. Craig and Amanda are painting in their new house, and my heart says, get in and help, but I know that I cannot, and that depresses me further.
Never mind, I am going up there later today, they say it will be useful if I can keep the baby occupied so that they can get on with it - she is three next month, and at a lovely stage, talks non-stop although I don't always understand what she is saying. We are thinking that if I spend some time with her, in a relaxed environment in her house, then I will be able to bring her home to spend some time in my house. This hasn't happened yet, she is not completely comfortable with me, which is understandable as she has only seen me half-a-dozen times on quick visits.
In the meantime, I did this...
I see a few others have found it and done it too. Quite accurate really, and a bit of fun.
12 Comments
I understand what you are saying here, Della. I have a similar problem with my right hip. It gives me hell at times, like yesterday after I came home from shopping and unloading the car...silly little things set it off...and it is a "pain"! I could hardly walk after I got home...then I took two Hexal...and they seem to settle it down. I don't take them often only when I'm pushed to the limit as I don't like taking pills. I also don't like going to doctors! I probably am my own worst enemy but that's the way it is. It's from years being on my feet, lifting heavy objects and running around like a chicken with its head cut off! I used to play golf too...but don't any more. I loved playing golf...me against that bloody little white ball! Usually the ball won but I got great joy out of hitting a few good shots.
You are doing your son and his wife a good turn by looking after the baby while they attend to the painting, so you are being worthwhile. :) It won't take long for the littly to get used to you, just you wait and see. :)
I understand what you are saying in spades Della.The thing that annoys me is that I have to slow down and cannot achieve what I want to do on any day when the "Pain" is being a pain. I had to give in and see DR Friday which did not make me happy but there I was, between a rock and a hard place. I do sympathise with your pain. I am sure like Lee said the little on will take to you in no time and will give you lots of joy. Keeping her entertained during the painting is a very valid help I would say.
Cheers Margaret
I hope you continue coping as well as you seem to be. At least once a year my lower back muscles decide they are going to tighten up and make me walk like Quasimodo until I finally go to the doctor for a jab. We learn to cope as you say.
Hi Della, sorry to hear you are having pain troubles, I'm sure none of us enjoy that but you learn to cope as you say.
G'day Della!..
Unfortunately, I know about constant pain (bludging disks in lower back).. so I hear ya.
I guess we didn't realize when they say "our golden years"..what the really mean is the only ones making "gold" are the doctors!!
And then the government wonders why care for the elderly is such an issue.. heh... but since they can afford the help, they really don't care anyway.
If i sound miffed about it. I am!
I wish I can take even just half of your pain! I am feeling some signs of what are to come my way, too. My therapy is thinking about my grandsons. They somehow take some of the pains away.
What about some music. I was tagged by Rachel of Heart of Rachel so if it is OK with you, May I tag you to name the 7 songs that you are currently listening to and to tag 7 more? If you are not up to it, it will be OK. Just be out of pain.
Your son and his wife is very lucky that you are willing to look after their baby even for just a short while. You have a big heart, Della.
Tke care and God bless....
Princess
Hi Della
I can emphasise with you as I suffered badly from a bad back.
I manage to play golf regularly because of an exercise programme of just 10 minutes a day adopted over the past 20 years.
The pain and symptoms of nerve irration would be very similar to you accepting my problem arises from a herniated and arthritic lower back disc, namely L5 and S1.
The pressure on the nerves located at L5, S1 irritates the branch of nerves which send muscle signals (through the brain via the spinal cord )to my lower back and legs which can result in numbness into the legs and even pain into the toes. Surgery in the earlier days was suggested to remove the protruding disc, hopefully without nerve scarring. However I elected not to have the operation.
In your scenario the nerve irritation from the bone intrusion on the discs in your neck irritates the nerves which carry the muscle signals to your shoulders and arms.
When sufficient pressure is applied to the nerve roots in the neck, the nerve branches of those nerves to the shoulders and arms cannot properly supply the messages (through your brain) to the muscles in your shoulders and arms, hence that is why you have weakness and numbness in those areas.
A solution is reduce the pressure and nerved irritation by increasing you protective muscles directly around the area affected.
Liken it to forming a strong protective collar by creating very strong muscles which take the pressure of the neck joints.
In my case it is very strong abdominal muscles which take all the pressure off the back.
My exercises were taken from a book by a distinguished orthopaedic surgeon and back specialist, who suffered himself. He has designed simple back and neck exercises to control chronic back and neck pain and to help ward off any attack that might develop.
I can post it off to you and you could return it to me once you have the exercises. If you would like to take up my offer, my e- mail is rach3095@ozemail.com.au
To give me a postal address.
Best wishes
Ouch! That does sound nasty. Although it would be tempting to wish for a "solution" of getting rid of the problem with surgery, I can totally understand your reluctance to mess with the spine and neck area. I hope Lindsay's suggestions provide some relief for you.
Taking care of the baby is a win-win situation really - it's fun for you and good for developing the relationship, and I'm sure Craig and Amanda would find that a huge plus to not have an active 3-year-old running around amongst the paint!
I'm looking forward to trying out that VisualDNA!
Ouch, I can sympathise with you Della. I get sciatica and when it's bad I just cannot get comfortable. But hey, I guess it comes with the territory of being "seniors". Pings me right off at times, though.
I think you're going to have a wonderful time getting to know your granddaughter. You have the opportunity here to build a lovely relationship with her. Go for it!
Lee, I hate taking pills too, for anything, that's why my doc despairs, he wants me to take medicine for cholestrol, and for diabetes, and god knows what else, and he keeps prescribing them, and I keep not taking them. Oh well!
I do have a problem though, with the steroid type things like nurofen, I did try them in the early stages of my neck problems, but ended up with a serious tinnitus, which took nearly a year to get rid of. So I am restricted to the panamaxes and panadols and the stronger versions of those for extreme times. Which is probably just as well! I am lucky that I can reach my own neck, so I can massage in Deep Heat, which really works well.
The hip would be a real problem though, limiting mobility quite a lot, poor you... I hate it that I cannot play golf any more... so, maybe...
Thanks Margaret, yes we had a good time yesterday, she even came with me in the car to take her back to 'other' nanas when it was time for her to sleep. They are not sleeping at the house yet, painting and cleaning the bedrooms before they move in fully. They are lucky they can do that...
Thanks to everybody, I wasn't sure about posting this little whinge, but I am so glad I have. Misery loves company? Just kidding, of course, but I am sure you know what I mean - why should I feel better and more able to cope, by knowing I am not alone? But I do, so thank you for your support.
Princess, lovely to see you - it's a funny thing you should mention music, I have just recently realised that a good sign of how 'low' I am feeling is my reaction to music. When I am really in the blues, I cannot listen to anything, everything I try just sounds hollow and boring... I can't even bear the radio.
Lindsay, I think you are absolutely right, and I will be in touch about that book, for sure. It sounds very sensible to me, and the physio did give me some little exercises, which really help to reduce the pain, so that would be good.
And very definitely yes, thanks Puss and Val, my getting to 'mind' the baby is a two-way street, I am revisiting 'play school' and learning all the current nursery-rhymes, skipping around the room clapping!! hmmmm..
Hi Della, no I have not really written much about my up coming move. Just a couple of comments on peoples posts now and then. I am thinking that it is going to be a very happy move for me. I am really looking forward to it , exclude the actual physical moving of course, I don't know that is ever pleasurable.
Cheers Margaret
Have a wonderful Easter break, Della...get stuck into all that chocolate...I will be! ;)
Enjoy your time with your kids, as no doubt you will be spending time with them over the Easter weekend. Best wishes and take care. :)
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